


supermarket flowers

by takesmeunder



Series: malec divide series [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Parabatai Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 16:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takesmeunder/pseuds/takesmeunder
Summary: Magnus dies in battle while protecting Alec. Here's how Alec deals with it in the immediate aftermath.





	supermarket flowers

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a series of malec fics based on songs from Ed Sheeran's album "Divide". each fic will be a different setting, no two will be the same. I will take inspiration from both show and books, but in every single one it's Magnus and Alec from Shadowhunters.

Alec goes back to the loft alone. He’s still covered in ichor, sweat and blood. _Magnus’ blood_ a voice whispers in his head and he’s already choking on his breath before he even unlocks the door. He has to _unlock_ it, with his _key_ , because Magnus isn’t here to bend the wards and let him in. Isn’t here to wave his hand at the door and let Alec inside before he even knocks.

His hand is shaking, and it takes him three tries to get the key in the slot before he can turn the handle and push open the door.

The smell hits him and he feels his heart constrict in his chest. It smells like Magnus, and his cologne and his _magic_. The loft smells like _home_.

Alec manages to lift his feet, slowly because they feel like bricks attached to his legs but he’s got one leg inside the loft and then the other. The door swings shut behind him with a soft snick and then it’s just Alec standing in the entryway by himself.

Because Magnus? Magnus is gone.

Alec tries to take in a breath and can’t. He’s gasping then, desperately trying to take in air that won’t come because his lungs aren’t working. He’s dropping to his knees next, seraph blade clattering to the floor as he clutches his throat.

He doesn’t hear the door open but it must, because there’s a hand on his back and a voice in his ear telling him to _breathe, Alec, breathe_ , and then there’s Jace, blurry at the edges but _there_ and holding his hands up. He’s putting his fingers down one at a time, his mouth moving as he slowly counts down from ten.

Alec watches his fingers and his mouth, the roaring in his ears fading as he finally catches his breath and can count down with Jace as he goes. “3, 2, 1,” Alec inhales sharply and Jace claps him on the back for it.

“Easy, brother,” Jace says, eyes filled with worry. “Slow, deep breaths.”

Alec shifts from his knees to his ass, sits on the floor of Magnus’ loft with his parabatai sat right beside him while he recovers from a panic attack. “Sorry,” he croaks out, and then laughs at the absurdity of it.

Jace’s eyes shift from worried to amused back to worried. “Jesus, Alec. Never apologize. What you just went through, I—“

He cuts himself off sharply, lips forming a tight line.

Alec’s brain is going a mile on a minute, but he settles for “Magnus died in my arms,” and saying it out loud like that, to Jace, his _brother_ , has the tears he’d been fighting off return with a vengeance. “He died because of _me_.”

Jace tries to pull him into some sort of embrace but Alec pushes him back. He climbs to his feet and brushes off something, Angel knows what, from his pants before heading straight for Magnus’ liquor cart.

“Alec,” Jace says, hot on his heels but Alec ignores him.

“He’s gone,” Alec says again, picking up Magnus’ favorite bottle of gin. He twists off the bottle and sniffs, thinks of how two nights ago Magnus had poured him a drink and the smile on his face when this one hadn’t made him scrunch up his nose.

Alec holds the bottle tight in his hands, sadness turning to anger so quickly he almost surprises himself when he pulls his hand back and smashes the bottle on the floor of the loft.

Jace is on him in a second. “Hey, hey,” he tries, gets his own hand around Alec’s wrist to prevent him from picking up another bottle.

There’s a whoosh of air and Alec’s so in his head he doesn’t even reach for a seraph blade, or the dagger tucked into his belt. Just watches as Jace whirls around towards the source of the noise and in a lightning flash motion has a seraph blade in each hand pointed towards the portal that had appeared behind them.

A woman steps out, her long black hair pulled back into braids. Her skin is a deep blue color, and her face is a mask of sadness.

“Catarina,” Alec breathes out, resting a hand on Jace’s back. “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault, if I—“

“Hush, Shadowhunter,” Catarina waves her hand and purple sparks erupt from her fingertips. Alec watches as the smashed glass that had been strewn across the floor disappears. “I can very much assure you that it wouldn’t have mattered what you did. Magnus Bane did nothing unless he wanted to, and nothing you said or did could have changed what he did on that battlefield tonight.”

“I could have paid more attention,” Alec insists. “I could have stayed closer. I could have—“

Catarina waves her hand again and Alec finds himself without a voice. “Alexander Lightwood,” she says, and Alec frowns over this full name coming from someone other than Magnus. His stomach drops when he realizes he’ll never hear it from Magnus’ mouth again. “I’m here to offer you protection.”

Alec gestures wildly to his throat, and Catarina smiles before the purple sparks allow him to speak again. “Protection from what? Isn’t it a little late for that? The one person I loved more than anything in this entire world is gone. Gone forever, and he’s never coming back.”

“You were right about him, Magnus,” Catarina says, folding her hands together and looking over to the blue chair Magnus would often collapse into after a long day. “Quite the firecracker.”

Alec squints between Catarina and the chair. “Is… is he here?”

Catarina cocks her head with a thoughtful expression. “I’m not sure actually,” she says before smiling. “No one ever really told me how this works,” she pauses. “He says he said the same thing to Ragnor after he died.”

Alec takes a sharp breath through his nose. “Why are you offering protection now?”

“Since Magnus has… passed on,” Catarina seems to choose her words carefully. “His wards and spells will wear off very, very soon. The things that keep this loft hidden from enemies, Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike, will soon fade and make it a prime target. I’m offering you protection, Alec Lightwood, so that you may remain here in the place that both you and Magnus called home.”

Not for the first time that night, Alec finds himself struggling to get air. “Why?”

Catarina comes closer, taking both of Alec’s hands into her own. “Because, Alec Lightwood, in the centuries I have known Magnus Bane, he has never loved anyone the way he loved you.”


End file.
